Having chosen English as the preferred language in the EEC, the
European Parliament has commissioned a feasability study in
ways of improving efficiency in communications betwen
European officials have often pointed out that English spelling
is unnecessary difficult; for example: cough, plough, rough,
through and thorough. What is clearly needed is a phased
programme of changes to iron out these anomalies. The programme
would, of course, be administered by a committee staff at top
level by participating nations.
In the first year, for example, the committee would suggest
using 's' instead of the soft 'c'. Sertainly, sivil servants in
all sities would resieve this news with joy. Then the hard 'c'
could be replaced by 'k' sinse both letters are pronounsed
alike. Not only would this klear up konfusion in the minds of
klerikal workers, but typewriters kould be made with one less
There would be growing enthousiasm when in the sekond year, it
was anounsed that the troublesome 'ph' would henseforth be
written 'f'. This would make words like 'fotograf' twenty per
sent shorter in print.
In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be
expekted to reatsh the stage where more komplikated tshanges
are possible. Governments would enkourage the removal of double
letters which have always been a deterent to akurate speling.
We would al agre that the horible mes of silent 'e's in the
languag is disgrasful. Therfor we kould drop thes and kontinu
to read and writ as though nothing had hapend. By this tim it
would be four years sins the skem began and peopl would be
reseptive to steps sutsh as replasing 'th' by 'z'. Perhaps zen
ze funktion of 'w' kould be taken on by 'v', vitsh is, after
al, half a 'w'. Shortly after zis, ze unesesary 'o kould be
dropd from words kontaining 'ou'. Similar arguments vud of kors
be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.
ontinuing zis proses yer after yer, ve vud eventuli hav a
reli sensibl riten styl. After tventi yers zer vud be no mor
trublsm difikultis and evrivun vud fin it ezi tu understand ech
ozer. Ze drems of Mr. Orvel vud finali hav kum tru.
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